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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

NUMBERS, NUMBERS AND MORE MOTHERF*CKING NUMBERS

Gyahahahaha, it seems more than a year has passed since the last time I did this, how fast time flies. Well, I'll do the same here as I did that last time, list down everyone in the class, and write down a small review about them, and of course, the very fun rating. Yippee. However, since this is the last year of our Secondary School life, I'll include something I did not. I shall include a new stat known as 'Probability of keeping in contact', fancy, isn't it? It is as it says, I'll put another value beside what I rate you, which signifies the chance of whether the individual in question and myself will keep in touch.

Without further ado... let's begin.

Angelia - Making accusations of racism against me just isn't the thing that will get me to like you. - [1/10] [0.4%]
Felicia Yiap - You're okay to talk to, but you scare me sometimes with your lower jaw. - [5/10] [18%]
Yun Cheng - We started talking a little bit now, but I still don't really know you. - [5.5/10] [35%]
Lynette - Your daughter wants to kill me - [5.5/10] [35%]
Michelle - You're wrathful attitude is a pain sometimes - [5/10] [21%]
Aishah - I don't like you. [0.4/10] [0.3%]
Sarah - Okay, I don't hate you as much now but... - [3/10] [12%]
Ling Ling - I should not be near you and escalators at the same time. Hmm. - [6/10] [35%]
Shermin - Sometimes you treat me like a lifelong friend, sometimes you treat me as that guy you don't want around. - [7.5/10] [50%]
Siti Hawa - You and your stupid Tom. Really, you should not be such a slobberer sometimes. - [7/10] [61%]
Suhanah - Sometimes I dislike you, sometimes I don't. - [4/10] [28%]
Ruth - I don't get why you cannot speak nicely to the teachers, because you can. - [5/10] [11%]
Zafirah - Ahh, get away from me. - [10/99999999] [0.1...%]
Alex - You still play truant all the time, you'll probably regret it when you become old and rusty one day. - [5.5/10] [20%]
Ben - Ben, you and your venturous spirit, don't get to carried away with the money at this point, you may not think the certificate(s) are a necessity, but they make your prospects look better. [7.8/10] [52%]
Kah Yi - You asshole, stop touching my things without my permission, my god. - [27/10] [0%]
Cheng Heng - Hello, Roundy, I'll miss you if we don't see each other again, and I'll be nostalgic whenever I see a ball. - [7/10] [44%]
Clement - Yellow Lemon Dirty Clement, stop being so cheeky, wheeeee... - [6.5/10] [63%]
Whye Keat - Daddy, I want more Mudkipz - [8.2/10] [85%]
Jonathan - You want food, Jonathan? Too bad, you can't eat my blog, or can you? - [8.5/10] [93%]
Marcus - Sometimes you get too angry, too unreasonably. Or maybe it's just your nose. - [6/10] [44%]
Nicholas - Yeah, we like a lot of the same things, probably going to give you a higher rating if I didn't find you so damn stubborn and inconsiderate. Copying my idea was not really very creative of you. - [6/10] [33.3%]
(Tan) Yan Zhi - Stupid dog shit, got to know you a lot this year. - [8.2/10] [85%]
Shawn Tan - So rich, as if your paper can print money. - [5/10] [38%]
Kenneth - Stop taking yourself so seriously all the time, no one's going to think less of you if you made some self-deprecating humour. - [5/10] [35%]
Hao Ran - Bloob bloob, the fillet is ready, yay, time to play Warcraft. - [7.78/10] [75%]

And there we go, it's done, a lot shorter than the previous one, reasons are obvious. And also, bye bye Siti Hawa.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Take nothing but photos, leave nothing but memories.

Leaving On A Jet Plane - CHANTAL KREVIAZUK
Well, Graduation day today, you may have noticed I've not been blogging, less than usual, even though I had a lot to say during the time between the latest post to this. Day started off alright, receiving a certificate for my distinction in Australian Mathematics competition, I may have slapped the principal's hand a little too hard when I when to shook it. After our morning assembly, we were brought to the hall to be briefed for the upcoming examinations, and to watch the video and picture dedications from each class. Personally, Ben's slide show was a lot better than I have expected, but I found the 5A1's to be very well done. After everything, we left the hall saying our final goodbyes to the teachers, a lot of tears were shed, and hugs were exchanged with the teachers who have helped us grow for the past five years. We went up to where our class was held in for the majority of the year, and I willingly took photos for the occasion, dozens of them, after all, it was a special day to end a special year. This year passed by so quickly, I still remember the first week of school vividly. And now, we're about to say goodbye to one another, so to Class 5A2, I have a message for all of you.

All of us have known each other for three, or five years, some more, some less, but the bond we have developed over the past half a decade or so would probably be the strongest we will develop in our entire lives, after this year, we would be free from this education system, and in our junior colleges or polytechnic institutes, we would just be individuals. We will no longer have this 'family' that we call 5A2. We should not remember our time together for the bad memories, we should not remember it for the good memories, we should remember our time together for everything, because, personally, I wouldn't change a damn thing about it, except to make it longer. I hope some of us can keep in touch after we finish our exams and after we receive our results. I emphasize, some of us.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Your names won't be on it

Based on my reactions to camera(phone)s, you can find out one simple thing about me. I cannot take photos. I've reemphasized on that many times, and yet there some of you are, aiming your damn things at me.

You've asked me why I cannot take photos an uncountable amount of times, and I have replied you that many of times plus one. I'm sick of it. I am fucking exasperated. I am sick of asking, no, pleading with you to delete any photographs you have of me on your phone. I'm sick of explaining why I cannot take photos to no avail. And I'm fucking sick of looking at your damn faces every time you try to take a photograph of me.

Are your skulls made of fucking rubber? Does anything that is supposed to go in your little heads just bounce right fucking off? What must I do or say that will make you fucking listen?

Assume I'm being fucking delusional, or even just lying about why I don't take photographs. Are you any better than what I fucking say about you if you don't even show an ounce of concern for my wishes?

When Ben gets upset, your balls fucking crawl halfway up your damn bladders, "Oh, Ben is angry, let's keep fucking quiet or else he shouts or throws furniture!" But when I am upset, you fucking laugh and prod at me just because my tongue is my weapon instead of my fists. Fuck each one of you and your double fucking standards.

Do not worry though, you won't make me avoid school, I'm not going to be absent every other day, so you can have your fucking cameras at the ready. I will not jeopardize my final examination in Secondary School just for you faggots. Yes, my final examination, and also my final year. It ends in three months. Which means, unless you were a friend of mine or something, I only have three months left to see you, and vice-versa.

And at the end, my list of friends will be the same, empty. Like the title of this blog post states, your names will not be on it. Your stupidity and your cowardice disgusts me. There is a reason I have never, and judging by your current behavior, will never, called any of you friends.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

TheAsexual Celibate Asshole

Okay, okay, I've been erroneously calling myself an asexual for sometime now, and I'd like to make a correction, I have never denied the fact I am a heterosexual that has made himself live the life of an asexual, but it turns out, that there is a term for that, known as celibacy.

On a related note, since quite a number of you ask, I shall speak about my feelings of attraction, if any, towards any particular individual. Many people, in response to my 'ambiguous', for lack of a better word, nature, has questioned me about the aforementioned. I claim that I will rarely, if ever, find a person to which I would be attracted.

Here is the formula to explain just what I mean.


Where:
AN = Net Attraction
AP = Physical Attraction - How attractive I find a particular person.
On a scale of 1 through 100
AM = Mental Attraction - How smart I find a particular person.
On a scale of 1 through 100
P.H = Personal History - My social history with a particular person.
On a scale of -8000 through 8000

For example, for a person I find very attractive physically and mentally, but not really know, the values for AP, AM and P.H may be 95, 92, and 125, respectively, such that the value of Net attraction would equal to 8865.

Or if someone I find physically and mentally unattractive and really dislike, his or her AP, AM, and P.H value could be 2, 1 and -3405, which would lead to a net attraction value of -3403.

I hope that clears things up for some of you, cheerio.

**Subject to change.

Friday, April 18, 2008

S-bore-t's Day. Faggots.

Hooray, we just had our school's annual sports day. And by hooray, I mean, "What in the holy freaking hell?"

It was awful. God-awful. Dongly-Mongly-awful. Right, so a few classmates and I made it there, met Zhi Ying, Haziq and Felicia at a bus stop. We then had to camp out at the bus interchange for a few other people, no biggie. Took quite a while though.

Anyways, when we made it there, Felicia and Haziq were not allowed it by Triple-L and the Green Goblin. Even though they stated that former students are allowed in. But, eventually, our form teacher spoke to those two and they were allowed in. Felicia brought her boyfriend along, and they wouldn't let him in, because he was not a former student. Which was bollocks, really. It was just one of their oh-so-fair reasons, and not just an excuse to keep her out. (They have a beef with her, know?) So, without her companion allowed to go in with her, she left. Haziq didn't, however.

The actual event was rather dreadful, it was very humid and warm. And with the proverbial body odor parade literally all around me, it made it worse. The crowd was not very noisy though, and that was a good thing. But they blared terrible music throughout the times the jockeys weren't announcing anything. And since I was not in a T-shirt or whatever, I was chosen to be given the wonderful privilege of being one their janitorial executives. But the people around me were great, and they already had the incentive of clearing up the garbage around the area, all I did was to take a bag from them, namely Ben, and hand it in and throw it in the trash storage.

Anyways that's about it.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Dear 'Hater' 2

Firstly, I thank you for the replies.

As I said before, I do not think what I said warrants an apology. Even though what I said may seem racist, it's only racist if I target your race. I did not mention your race, at all. If someone, of a different race, was called what you were called, and he or she had the same skin color as you, I would have said the same thing, take Jonathan, he's Chinese, but he has dark skin. What I said had nothing to do with race.

If you do not understand my point by now, perhaps you will not. I was not basing my words on stereotypes, but on plain, observable facts, if you are insulted by that, then I would also not need to apologize, what I said was about as offensive as someone saying "Girliest boy I've ever seen", after someone calls a girl a boy.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Dear 'Hater'

I have read your charming little posts on my tagboard, if you want me to feel guilty, or even affected by what you want to get across, pointing out what I 'did yesterday' would greatly help. Shrouding your identity does not.

And if you want to remain anonymous, you should describe the incident in greater detail. I'm not a psychic, and much less one who can read minds over text. I really doubt I would, and should feel bad for what I did, if I even did it at all.

P.S: Yes. I do know who you are, and that of which you speak, and as I have said, I do not find any reason to feel bad. Even though I know who you are, I shall give you the dignity to acknowledge it yourself.